I want to be special. I want to feel like I am special. If you think I am, why don’t you treat me like it? Why don’t I feel like I am? Maybe I’m ungrateful. But I just miss those moments. Those good times. Now it’s all plain and boring. What happened? Have we lost the sparks? I sent a two-paraghraph email, pouring my heart out, about why I acted this way. But all I got as a reply is just three sentences. That’s it. Do you care? Do you still care? Or maybe things are as equally boring to you as they are to me? We talk but we barely know how we feel about each other. I know you. You don’t believe in words. You think “action is enough”. But when all you got to do as an action is a phonecall, don’t you think it also needs to involve a little bit of talking in it? Do you think once you call then problem solved? You think a phonecall is enough to show how you feel without really think about what things you’re gonna say? You hate protests, but you give me some. You call life’s unfair, but, hey, it has been a little bit unfair to me too, you know. Wait. You don’t? You seriously don’t know it has been unfair to me, too? Then, maybe you should really find it on your own. Because that’s what you always tell me, isn’t that? Everytime I got confused and have no clue about what I have to do, you always tell me to figure it out, on my own.
I even feel you kinda hate me. I don’t know why. Do you hate me? I think you do. You said it once, you hate me. Maybe you still do. It’s been a while since the last time I cried. I don’t want to cry anymore but sometimes I just can’t help it. I got to the point where I don’t know what to do anymore that what’s left for me to do is crying. Sometimes I can stop myself from crying, but it feels like I’m dying inside. I really can’t help it. I can’t. I’m scared. I don’t wanna talk about it to your face, I’m too scared.
Now maybe you call me Drama Queen. For being overreacting and overwhelming about everything. But I am a humanbeing. That’s what I do. That’s what we do.
And God help me. I want to feel special again. 
